50 Things You Really Need to Know: Fantastic First-Time Father
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Finding out you're going to be a father for the first time is an incredible feeling - your life will never be the same again. Though, biologically speaking, your job is done, the real work is yet to come: supporting the future mother of your child through all the highs and lows of her pregnancy, and preparing for your new role as a father.
Most dads-to-be feel underprepared and overawed, but Fantastic First-Time Father: 50 Things You Really Need to Know has all the expert advice you need for every step of the way, from receiving the news to functioning on two hours of sleep a night, and along the way you'll get insider tips and expert advice.
based on the scan information alone. Diagnostic tests There are a number of diagnostic tests that a pregnant mum may encounter. Among the most common are: spina bifida, Down’s syndrome, sickle cell and thalassaemia screening cystic fibrosis checks amniocentesis and chorionic villus sampling (CVS). Your midwife and doctor will be able to explain all about these. But before you make any decisions about a test, talk with your partner about the implications – what action would you take if a test
to do and make a private agreement with the baby’s mother. Calculate what you can afford carefully; it’s not unusual for fathers to hugely overstretch the amount they offer to pay and then find themselves in financial problems. Be honest and keep communication open. And don’t make payments in cash: you may later need to be able to provide proof of payment. Legal responsibilities Laws don’t normally set out in detail what parental responsibility consists of, but if they did, they might include
into the rank of Superdad 33 Remember sleep? Sleep, or rather the lack of it, features largely in the first few months weeks of parenthood. Most small babies seem almost nocturnal: sound asleep during the day, unbelievably perky at night. There are no quick fixes – it’s just a case of feeling your way, one day at a time. Eyes wide open Sleep deprivation is one of the earliest known forms of torture and becoming the parent of a newborn baby girl or boy gives every mum and dad the chance to
but not here As your child grows up, recognize from early on that being ‘around’ for your partner and baby isn’t necessarily the same as really being there. Physically being in a space isn’t the same as being connected to the world and people around you, and connection is the name of the game. Start to notice the things that distract your attention. There’s the TV, for example, which you can continue to watch while half-listening to your partner telling you about her day. In a few years’ time,
Close your eyes and think for a moment. How many people in your life can you say have truly loved you unconditionally? Loved without condition – loved with no strings attached? Go on. Really think. Count them up – true, uncomplicated, unconditional love. I have done this exercise with many hundreds of mums and dads over the years and the response has always been the same. Most people can point to, at most, one or two people who have consistently, unflaggingly, unconditionally loved them. And