Anguished English: An Anthology of Accidental Assualts Upon Our Language [ANGUISHED ENGLISH] [Mass Market Paperback]
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"Anguished English" is the impossibly funny anthology of accidental assaults upon our language. From bloopers and blunders to Signs of the Times to Mixed Up Metaphors...from Two-Headed Headlines to Mangling Modifiers, here is an outrageous treasury of assaults upon our common language that will leave you roaring with delight and laughter.
six-time winner. Mrs. Betty Larkin is poorly this spring. Her face is much missed in church, it being always there when she is able to be present. Ronald Reagan was accompanied on his tour by his friend Chuck Connors, television's "Rifleman," who plugged Reagan every chance he got. Since the disclosures about his fiances, the usually ebullient Representative has been un available to reporters. Osborne chased it around the back of the net, dug the puck off the sideboards, and fired a pass to
GRADUATION CHILD'S DEATH RUINS COUPLE'S HOLIDAY BLIND WOMAN GETS NEW KIDNEY FROM DAD SHE HASN'T SEEN IN YEARS SCENT FOUL PLAY IN DEATH OF MAN FOUND BOUND AND HANGED MAN IS FATALLY SLAIN ENFIELD COUPLE SLAIN; POLICE SUSPECT HOMICIDE SOMETHING WENT WRONG IN JET CRASH, EXPERT SAYS DEATH CAUSES LONELINESS, FEELINGS OF ISOLATION Next Chapter... -IIIINSPIRED GIBBERISH Beware of sexy women like those lymphomaniacs. Modern Day Malapropisms During the early years of space exploration, NASA scientist
eight different languages. And this is only the tip of the iceburg. 6 room cottage nestled amongst beautiful trees. Mint condition, nicely furnished, antiques, carpeting, and assessible all year round. And perhaps the most letter-imperfect of all: Mr. & Mrs. Garth Robinson request the honor of your presents at the marriage of their daughter Holly to Mr. James Stockman. Next Chapter... Howta Reckanize American Slurvian Language lovers have long bewailed the sad state of pronunciation and
English language is a practice that is not limited only to students. An astonishing number of grownups blithely go about murdering the King's English without any inkling that they are committing a serious crime. If you think that today's students aren't learning all they should, check out some of the writing miscreated by their morns and dads. The following are actual excuse notes received by teachers: Dear School: Please eckuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33. Please
have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs. The Rev. Merriwether spoke briefly, much to the delight of the audience. The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing, "Break Forth Into Joy." This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. White to come forward and lay an egg on the altar. The choir will meet at the Larsen house for fun and sinning. Thursday at 5 p.m. there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All wishing to become little mothers