Bradshaw On: The Family: A New Way of Creating Solid Self-Esteem
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Based on the public television series of the same name, Bradshaw On: The Family is John Bradshaw's seminal work on the dynamics of families that has sold more than a million copies since its original publication in 1988. Within its pages, you will discover the cause of emotionally impaired families. You will learn how unhealthy rules of behavior are passed down from parents to children, and the destructive effect this process has on our society.
Using the latest family research and recovery material in this new edition, Bradshaw also explores the individual in both a family and societal setting. He shows you ways to escape the tyranny of family-reinforced behavior traps--from addiction and co-dependency to loss of will and denial--and demonstrates how to make conscious choices that will transform your life and the lives of your loved ones. He helps you heal yourself and then, using what you have learned helps you heal your family.
Finally, Bradshaw extends this idea to our society: by returning yourself and your family to emotional health, you can heal the world in which you live. He helps you reenvision societal conflicts from the perspective of a global family, and shares with you the power of deep democracy: how the choices you make every day can affect--and improve--your world.
faith and not the result of logic or reason. It is certainly reasonable to believe that there is some higher power, whatever you call it. The love of God (higher power) is rooted in healthy shame. The German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche wrote, “Shame is the source of spirituality.” The feeling of shame tells us we are finite, that we need help and are prone to mistakes. Shame has always been an appropriate response to the reality of God. Healthy shame literally means modesty, awe and
over the U.S. and Canada for live talks and workshops. Since its publication in January of 1988, this book has sold more than 1,250,000 copies. Some 250,000 people have attended my workshops and lectures. The early energy of the recovery movement has now subsided. Much of the recovery philosophy has become a way of life for many people. Phrases like “dysfunctional family,” “shame-based personality” and “wounded inner-child,” which were uncommon when I began this work, are now commonplace, at
Trust Trust is created by honesty. Accurate expression of emotions, thoughts and desires is more important than agreement. Honesty is self-responsible and avoids shaming. Individuality In functional families, differences are encouraged. The uniqueness and unrepeatability of each person is the number-one priority in a functional family. When uniqueness is valued, a strong sense of self-esteem can be developed. When differences are acknowledged, a person can separate while staying
joy you can contain,” writes the poet Kahlil Gibran. It is abusive to protect a child from this source of growth, courage and wisdom. On the flip side of the coin, over-perfectionistic and overly punitive parents deprive their children of the fun, laughter, joy and spontaneity that are our childhood rights. The stern, authoritarian, often somber religious parent cuts off these life-giving and spontaneous emotions. Children growing up in such families are deprived of the joys of childhood.
just do not find it effective at this stage. I covered my pain with cognitive insight. I was in my recovery for 10 years before I began any feeling work. I believed that because I no longer used any mind-changing chemicals, I had arrested my addiction. However, I was still enormously addicted. I was still controlling, out of touch with my feelings, grandiose and compulsive. My marriage grew progressively less intimate and I basically had no close friendships. When a marriage counselor confronted