The Devil Wears Scrubs
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Newly minted doctor Jane McGill is in hell.
This is not the best start to the day. In the elevator, I run into my lunch buddy from yesterday, Nina. The second she steps inside, I sneeze violently. I can’t help but notice she’s covered in cat hairs. They are stuck to the back of her white coat, almost like she’s grown a layer of fur. “Hi, Jane!” she says. “Are you on call tonight too?” “Uh huh,” I say. I squint at her, wondering how to phrase my next thought as delicately as possible. “Um, are you keeping your cat in your dorm room?”
popsicle has been dripping all the way here. I’ve left a little trail of orange and vanilla ice cream behind me on the floor. It leads all the way off the unit. “Yes,” I admit, hanging my head. “Clean it up,” she orders me. Connie arrives a minute later and gets to do chest compressions. Whereas I spend the rest of the code on my knees with paper towels, cleaning up the trail of ice cream. Hours awake: 8 Chance of quitting: 47% Chapter 13 “Tell me about your last admission,”
reach into the trash and carefully extract it with my thumb and forefinger, trying my best not to touch anything else. The notes are stained but intact. “Where did you find it?” The janitor looks from the papers to my face. “En el cuarto del baño,” he says. I’m attempting to access my high school Spanish when Nina speaks up: “You left it in the bathroom.” Wow. I didn’t even realize I’d been to the bathroom today. Hours Awake: 12 Chance of doing something else dumb in the next 18 hours:
promise.” Nina has no choice but to acquiesce. I push my hand against the door to the lounge and Alyssa’s voice gets louder. I realize that she’s talking on the phone. I enter the room, but she’s turned toward the window and doesn’t notice me. “Can you say ‘bye bye’ to mama?” Alyssa is saying into the phone in that high, sweet voice. It’s her son, I guess. “Please, sweetie, just say something to mama.” She pauses. “Please, say something. Say anything…” There’s a long pause and I shift where
I’m pretty sure I can’t let him keep calling me by the wrong name for the next month. So I guess I have no choice but to say something. Right? Right?? “It’s Jane, actually,” I finally say. “Oh!” Dr. Westin seems a bit flustered and Alyssa gives me an accusatory look. The attending is always right, I know. But seriously, no matter how tired I am, I’m pretty sure I know my own name. Maybe not though. Maybe Jean’s better. I notice that Dr. Westin is staring at the arm of my white coat, which is