The Teatime Islands: Adventures in Britain's Faraway Outposts
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Welcomed with open arms, derided as a pig-ignorant tourist and occasionally mocked mercilessly for his trouble, Ben Fogle visited the last flag-flying outposts of the British Empire.
With caution, dignity and a spare pair of pants thrown to the wind, he set out to discover just exactly who would choose to live on islands as remote as these and - more importantly - tried to figure out exactly why. Landing himself on islands so isolated, wind-swept, barren and just damned peculiar that they might have Robinson Crusoe thinking twice, Fogle:
- Almost becomes lunch on the appropriately named Carcass Island
- Gets deported from Pitcairn for being both a spy and a smuggler
- Uncovers the story of the tyrant who became St Helena's most unwilling and least popular guest
- And witnesses a shark attack from a respectable distance.
Why he went, what he did when he got there and how exactly he got back in one piece makes for an eye-opening but affectionate look into life in these unique, peculiar places.
Garcia 56, 61, 83, 84–5, 254 off limits xxii, 62 US base 63, 64 Dillon, Shirley 186 donkeys 237, 255 Dream Voyager 58, 61–2, 64–5, 67–8 Dulcie 185 Dutton, Captain 92 Eastern Telegraph Company (ETC) 230 Edinburgh, Tristan da Cunha xiii, 24, 27, 28 Edinburgh (ship) 33–4 Eigg xviii, xix elephant seals 155–6 Elizabeth II 103 Endurance xi, 169–71, 253–4 European Space Agency 240–42 Fairhurst, Geoffrey 250–51 Falk-Ronne, Arne 40 Falkland Islands xii, xvii–xviii, xxiv, 137–43, 146–51,
Colombia and Ecuador, where he had met and married his wife. His job had variously involved looking after American interests and engineering coups. Brian told me that he had been working in Quito at the time of ‘el Loco’, the self-proclaimed madman of Ecuadorian politics who had somehow become president. He had eventually been declared clinically insane by his own party, and with the aid of Brian and his sponsors had been deposed from power. I hoped Brian wasn’t planning the same plot for
Falkland Islands Interim Conservation and Management Zone was introduced to protect fish stocks around the island, with an extended zone 200 miles from the island. Any vessel wishing to fish within this zone now requires a licence from the Falkland Islands government. Nearly 75 per cent of the catch is squid, and nearly £20 million is contributed to the islands’ economy every year from the sale of these licences. Today, almost all the calamari we eat in Britain, Spain, Japan and South Korea is
we are? Where’s the liferaft? It would take weeks for a lifeboat to reach us. I stumbled from my bunk and grabbed my life jacket from behind the door. I slipped it over my neck and tied a bow around my waist. A bow? I wasn’t tying a shoe, this was my only chance of escaping a watery death! Why hadn’t I paid more attention to those aeroplane demonstrations, I thought as I lay in my bunk. The wind screamed and bellowed. Somehow, sometime, I must have fallen asleep, for I was awoken by a beam of
attempting to climb the Everest of the South Atlantic in my exhausted old deck shoes. They had seen service in some of the most remote parts of the globe, but now, it seemed, Ascension’s Green Mountain was just too much for them. I struggled to scrunch up my toes and keep the shoes attached to my bare feet until my left leg disappeared into the thick quagmire. I heaved and pulled and when my leg was eventually released from the reluctant mud, my shoe was not. I dipped my foot back into the